Still A Mother

Motherhood is a beautiful gift. Whether you only held your baby in your womb or you held them in your arms and had to let them go home to the Lord, motherhood is eternal. We are forever their mothers.

We honor you today as you hold onto the experiences you shared that serve as a constant reminder of the gift we were given, to be called mother. Some women never felt a kick from inside their womb or the feeling of her baby's heartbeat against her chest.

We honor you because you are still a mother.

When I was pregnant, I longed desperately to see my child, constantly praying that he was ok. I did everything I could to protect him and loved him more than I loved myself even though I had never physically seen or touched him. I was not just pregnant with life, I was pregnant with love.

I knew immediately that motherhood was the most beautiful gift I would ever receive.

I have come to learn that this gift is not always wrapped neatly with a bow. Sometimes the gift is left bare and the bow has been ripped to pieces leaving the gift easily misunderstood as a curse. When my son passed to the next life, I wondered "why me?" "why my child"? I wondered what I had done to deserve this. My grief threatened to steal my gratitude for the gift that I received. No matter how brief, my son was still a beautiful gift that made me better for having experienced love so pure. Regardless of the days spent sobbing into a pillow after my loss, there is nothing in my life that I cherish more than the gift of motherhood. There is no amount of grief or pain that would make me want to erase the beautiful memories that we shared.

There are emotions that I have felt as a mother that no other experience in life could in it's purest form and indescribable joy. My son was special, like many of the children who had short physical lives- they were all so special. Sometimes, I have to ask myself if he was human at all or if he was truly an angel on earth.

Whether angel or human, he was sent to me. He is mine...given to me by the Creator who called him home- home where we will all eventually return. I know we will be together again in the blinking of an eye. I still grieve, but I have made the choice not to let my grief paralyze me.