Drowning In Guilt
Have you taken the time to forgive? Forgiveness is an important step in the healing process that is often overlooked.
Many of us are drowning ourselves holding onto guilt that is not our burden to carry, blaming ourselves for things that we were not in control of. Guilt is weighing us down and we are slowly being carried further and further away from the shore to a depth of pain that will fill our lungs and take us under.
Release yourself of the things you carry that do not serve you.
Release yourself of the weight that is taking you under, making it impossible to breathe.
Guilt does not serve you. Self blame does not serve you. Hating yourself does not serve you.
I remember hating myself for surviving. I blamed myself for losing him. I had many irrational thoughts that made sense to me about why it was all my fault. But when I heard other people make similar comments about their own losses I was able to tell them it was not their fault. We always see clearer from the outside looking in. Look within yourself and see the same light and love that you so easily see in others.
In prayer, we often ask God to forgive us but are often unwilling to truly forgive those who have hurt us. If we are honest about it, the person we need to forgive the most is ourselves. We ask God to forgive us for choices we have made, but are not even willing to forgive ourselves. We are human beings- we are not omniscient, all knowing. There are things that we just do not know until we are looking at the situation with hindsight. We did not know then, what we know now, so we cannot continue to punish ourselves and abuse ourselves over choices we made without the knowledge we now have.
I often have to say to myself "I forgive myself for not knowing what I didn't know." I repeat this over and over some days. The fact of the matter is that I did my best. I did the best I could with what I knew. It is important for us to talk to ourselves with the same empathy and compassion that we would talk to a friend. We know how to say these things to a friend when they are distraught or suffering, but when it comes to talking to ourselves we become emotionally abusive. Blaming ourselves over and over is only preventing us from embracing peace. There are some things that we will never fully understand on this side of life. I can fight with this fact until I drive myself crazy or I can surrender.
I surrender. I choose peace.
No matter what it is that you are holding against yourself, I am sure that you did the best you could with the knowledge that you had. If you had a crystal ball and could have seen the future, there is no way you would have chosen to hurt yourself or those you love. But we did not have crystal balls. We did not choose to hurt those that we love. Every choice we made was to help them not to harm them. Forgive. Forgive. Forgive. God forgives you. It is important that you embrace that attribute and forgive yourself.
I forgive myself for not knowing what I did not know.